[ allison know she could cop out here. she could just lie, tell ben that sure, she regrets some stuff from her past (who doesn't?) but that she feels okay about everything now. a big part of her wants to do just that, but she also knows that ben could have done that too, at several points in this conversation. but he didn't. at the very least, allison owes him that respect. ]
Sometimes.
[ she should have never tried to rumor vanya out of that cabin, not while vanya was so vulnerable. that's the most recent regret, but it's also only the tip of the iceberg. ]
What I do know is that I've made some really awful ones, and those I can't make right.
[ and then, her biggest fear: ] What I do now is probably too little, too late.
[ allison isn't sure how to respond to ben's last message. part of her wants to cry, wants to tell him he's wrong, he's wrong, if he only knew. and part of her wants to simply thank him. for being here now. which might be more than what she deserves. after a few moments, she manages: ]
Thanks.
[ worried that that's too sparse, too cold, she adds: ]
no subject
Sometimes.
[ she should have never tried to rumor vanya out of that cabin, not while vanya was so vulnerable. that's the most recent regret, but it's also only the tip of the iceberg. ]
What I do know is that I've made some really awful ones, and those I can't make right.
[ and then, her biggest fear: ] What I do now is probably too little, too late.
[ allison isn't sure how to respond to ben's last message. part of her wants to cry, wants to tell him he's wrong, he's wrong, if he only knew. and part of her wants to simply thank him. for being here now. which might be more than what she deserves. after a few moments, she manages: ]
Thanks.
[ worried that that's too sparse, too cold, she adds: ]
I mean that. What you said, it means a lot.