No. I was a dick to her because you having been in Hadriel away from me all that time freaked me out. I got over it and I apologized and we're cool now.
.......why, unless she hurt you, in which case I'm mad at her again, she didn't hurt you did she?
[ Oh this is... okay this is really happening, alright. It's been a while since Klaus consulted Ben about any of his romantic endeavors. Most of the time, Ben had things to say and Klaus didn't want to hear them. Then again, he'd thrown himself at a not insubstantial number of people that Ben considered dangerous and/or sleazebags. ]
I don't think Dave would want you to feel awful. He would want you to be happy. Like trust me, as a guy who was dead for a long time: seriously don't use what you think he might've maybe felt as a reason to make a decision.
[Ben, he knows, will be honest with him, and that's probably a good bit of why he's the one Klaus is talking to about this. Because this feels like a real thing and not a sleaze he's using for his couch. He needs some perspective.
And also the dead person input.]
i know he wouldnt be mad or anytjin he wanted whats best 4 me & all it just feels like cheating a lil in MY head u know?
and yeah i am into women too like sexually ive just never had feelings for a woman before i didnt think i was into them like romantically???
[ No he doesn't really know that feeling, Klaus, because he's never been on a single date in his life and you know it. ]
Well, it's not cheating. You're moving on and I'm really proud of you.
[ There's always sort of a ... moderate discomfort in talking about sexuality with Klaus, not only because they're brothers but also because it's such a weird and touchy topic where Ben is concerned, about himself, because of the being dead thing, and him really just absolutely shutting Klaus down any time he tried to ask Ben questions about his own sort of situation.
But Klaus needs him right now and they can navigate this with a minimum of awkwardness if they just try. They're ADULTS dammit. ]
So what is it that makes Julie different?
Is it just that there's no guys here you're really into so you're making do? Or do you think maybe she's the one exception? Or is this a... sexuality and stuff is fluid and maybe you're older now and your orientation is shifting or whatever?
[No but he probably knows the feeling of his mind and his heart telling him different things.]
isnt this too fast 2 move on? i dont know how this shit works
i dunno she listens when i talk & gets where im comin from when things r weird & hard & makes it easy not 2 lie 2 her & shes stopped me from relapsing like 3 times now.
& i mean ya theres no guys here im super into but i didnt want a relationship & theres guys here for fwb or whatever.
i dont know about the orientation stuff i just know i like her love her actually told her that the other day when i was having that fight w/ diego meant it too
You're the one who decides how much time you need, not anybody else.
[ Ben knows Klaus. Knows him better than anybody, probably. So he knows how important it is, for him to feel listened to, understood, but also for him not to be able to get away with shit. ]
All that sounds pretty great if you ask me. She's got the official Ben seal of approval.
[ Especially for that last part, but Ben doesn't say that, would never say that. ]
Well, then why worry? There's nothing wrong with loving her. You're allowed to love whoever you want. You don't need permission from me or anybody but yourself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@lazarus | text
I'm here.
Where are you?
Are you safe?
[ He's, like, already pulling on pants and ready to race out the door. ]
no subject
physically
just havin a like
existential crisis
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Promise?
You're not just saying that because you think I'll be mad or judge you but really you're in trouble?
Because I won't I just want you safe.
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just losing my shit a lil
no big
& pardon me but youd ttly judge bcuz thats who u r but i accepted that years ago & i love u neway
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Let me evolve.
Why are you losing your shit, then?
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and uh
julie
ur not still mad at her right?
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.......why, unless she hurt you, in which case I'm mad at her again, she didn't hurt you did she?
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i missed you when i was in hadriel idk if i said that
neway no
she did not
shes always real good to me
& forgives me & keeps my brain on track
thats kinda the problem??
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I don't know if I said that, either.
Wait.
How is that a problem? I don't understand.
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neway i was imagining ur voice the whole time <3
i think i might have feelings??
but i feel awful whenever i think that b/c dave
& this is gonna sound so stupid but also shes a girl
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I don't think Dave would want you to feel awful.
He would want you to be happy.
Like trust me, as a guy who was dead for a long time: seriously don't use what you think he might've maybe felt as a reason to make a decision.
...I thought you were into women too, though?
no subject
And also the dead person input.]
i know he wouldnt be mad or anytjin he wanted whats best 4 me & all it just feels like cheating a lil
in MY head u know?
and yeah i am into women too like
sexually
ive just never had feelings for a woman before i didnt think i was into them like
romantically???
no subject
Well, it's not cheating. You're moving on and I'm really proud of you.
[ There's always sort of a ... moderate discomfort in talking about sexuality with Klaus, not only because they're brothers but also because it's such a weird and touchy topic where Ben is concerned, about himself, because of the being dead thing, and him really just absolutely shutting Klaus down any time he tried to ask Ben questions about his own sort of situation.
But Klaus needs him right now and they can navigate this with a minimum of awkwardness if they just try. They're ADULTS dammit. ]
So what is it that makes Julie different?
Is it just that there's no guys here you're really into so you're making do?
Or do you think maybe she's the one exception?
Or is this a... sexuality and stuff is fluid and maybe you're older now and your orientation is shifting or whatever?
no subject
isnt this too fast 2 move on?
i dont know how this shit works
i dunno
she listens when i talk & gets where im comin from when things r weird & hard & makes it easy not 2 lie 2 her & shes stopped me from relapsing like 3 times now.
& i mean ya theres no guys here im super into but i didnt want a relationship & theres guys here for fwb or whatever.
i dont know about the orientation stuff
i just know i like her
love her actually
told her that the other day when i was having that fight w/ diego
meant it too
no subject
[ Ben knows Klaus. Knows him better than anybody, probably. So he knows how important it is, for him to feel listened to, understood, but also for him not to be able to get away with shit. ]
All that sounds pretty great if you ask me.
She's got the official Ben seal of approval.
[ Especially for that last part, but Ben doesn't say that, would never say that. ]
Well, then why worry?
There's nothing wrong with loving her.
You're allowed to love whoever you want.
You don't need permission from me or anybody but yourself.